Somewhere along the lines of my personality, it was decided that if I was going to be a good writer (the good is debatable, I suppose, depending who you speak to), I couldn't be a good visual artist. My drawing skills are none, un-honed, unpracticed. I never had the patience to build on it, selfishly hoping that the skill I'd always wondered at would magically bless me.
It never, obviously.
But through my frustration at not practicing art early, at not being able to have that talent (because who can ever have everything?), I kept a mad admiration for art. If any of my friends showed me their own artwork, I'd love it immediately. I have a great appreciation for art and galleries and even the quickest of sketches. So when I saw, "A Love Sprayed in Gold," on the back cover of Night Owls, I was instantly curious. Despite the line intriguing me, I was a little hesitant. I was still only getting into contemporary properly.
Two days later, I closed the book, completely finished and slightly breathless at the story I'd just read. My mind was so full of the emotions and situations I'd just read. Whilst I'd had no previous interest in Beatrix's chosen subject of study, the concept of that creating part of her character made me feel piqued. Such a gruesome and beautiful study of bodies was depicted through her story. Again, through art.
Night Owls is the story of a "rebel" spray-painter expressing himself, expressing his heart-wrenching devotion to his sister, meeting a girl who examines and sketches dead bodies on a late-night bus. But art isn't the only side to this story.
So many intricate and raw parts make up this story. Both Beatrix and Jack have less-than-perfect families and, especially by Beatrix's story, I was touched deeply. At the time I read this book, I was still filled with guilt over a decision I'd made months earlier and caused a lot of pain for somebody I loved through that. It was exactly the same choice Beatrix made. In my situation, I never felt as though I could truly be forgiven for what I had done in my own life, regarding my own feelings and decisions. I related to Beatrix and a lot of her narration within that broken family part of her life. Safe to say, I went through a lot of tissues. At times, seeing Beatrix's mother's reaction (quite similar to what I went through) I felt indescribably guilty, wondering if this was an insight on the depth of my own mother's. I was half-tempted to ask my mum to read the book... but thought better of it, knowing she couldn't truly appreciate the story and get past certain parts. But then I realized what Beatrix and I had in common: we were both merely curious to find a part of our lives we'd felt missing and wanted to fill it with our own views. We wanted to stop being fed the information from others and find out ourselves. I feel as though in the end, Beatrix got a better result from her seeking than I did, and I'm truly happy for that outcome. She was an anxious, strong person that deserved the happiness with her art, her family and love.
Jack. Jack was a character who tugged at my heart, and not in the usual book-boyfriend-potential way. To me, Jack was a boy who glanced up from the pages of Night Owls and when I saw him, I felt as though his eyes were saying, "Understand me. Listen to me. Know why I have spray cans in my bag. Don't judge me--just follow me and see why I do this. Let me tell you my story." So I did. I followed Jack eagerly and felt deeply. His inner whirlwind of emotions and anger but happiness and love for Beatrix and his sister intertwining had me gasping and sniffling at more points than one. Jack's story and cover-ups and expression is truly a thing to behold and I encourage anyone to read this story.
This isn't an average teen rebellion story, nor is it a heart-wrecking love story. It is heart-wrecking, but it is the beauty of a storm encased in pages. This book will make you feel and want to love and want to be free and make those bad decisions and know that forgiveness can be granted.
Reading Beatrix's story with her parents finally allowed me the personal journey of starting to forgive myself, to perhaps look past the forgiveness and feelings my own close-ones had felt at my (as it was seen) betrayal. I'm nearly in tears writing this, remembering this, because these feelings aren't just ones to disappear. But this is Beatrix's and Jack's story--I can only state how I related.
Through their own loves in life, the two found their happiness amidst a tornado of pretenses and deceit and lies. Jack's entire public life was a great big story that wasn't true and he had to let people believe it to protect his family. Until Beatrix came along, and she inspired the trust within him to release the truth and finally take somebody to share his sister's wonderful personality, the words she picked, that he spray-painted for her.
On the surface, before the book delves into its depths, Jack just seems like a teenager who wants to vandalize randomly. But another realization this book gave me: that things have reasons and sometimes they're worth waiting for. Whilst his methods may not have been the most legal or admirable by many, Jack's devotion to his cause is something he strives off and I have the utmost respect for him.
Even Beatrix overcomes so many things to get her artwork shown and displayed--and rightfully so. She had people there who cared for her work, even if it wasn't wholly. There was a shred, and then some by those who truly cared, of support and that was so encouraging. She showed the people who disapproved of her interests or doubted her what she could do, and completely, utterly pulled it off.
The narration and setting was just another thing to entirely make up the story, an important part that fit so well. If the setting isn't right, it throws the entire mood from the book and what it's trying to tell a reader. I may have received different messages to the intended one, but I still gained a great deal from reading Night Owls and will always return to that book, over and over.
Even now, it's been a while since I've opened it but it stays in my mind, reassuring me and reminding me that things aren't what they seem and moving on is out there; it has to be earned, but it's out there. Thank you to Jenn Bennett for sharing these incredible character's stories with me and being an inspiration to my own experiences. Thank you for writing this wonder of a book.
