I've been waaaay down on blogging lately, both on here and in my voluntary job of book reviewing. And it's honestly because I've got other words coming out of every crevice in my mind, finding their way through my fingers to be written. I wanted to talk about why and how I write, a little, if you'll humour me long enough.
Right now, I'm sort-of working on two manuscripts (honestly, my future agent is going to LOVE me, I swear. I do so much more than required at this point). One is a fantasy YA about a young king who rules over a a small isle of music and joy, except it's all gone grey and empty, so he holds a competition for ten architects and designers from all over the world (think Sydney Opera House history) to build the best theatre house and get his kingdom excited about art again. The other is a contemporary YA where two girls find solace despite grief and bad health, and when one starts to see the light, the other falls into a pit of darkness. They both inspire and let each other down, but fight back in the end.
I say I'm a fantasy writer, and that contemporary is a luxury. But it's the other way around, in terms of luxury. When I write contemporary stories, it's always something that means something to me. It's always real, and raw, and 80% of it is based off personal experiences/mindsets/decisions/relations. I only write contemporary stories when I'm struggling in life and I need to face those struggles. Fantasy stories... Now, they're the true luxury. They catch me when I tumble away from struggles, when I want to gloss over them and get on with my ignorance. They're mingled with truth and real-life issues but they're never so close to me that they're too raw to write sometimes, or make me too full of the story itself. I adore writing fantasy because I love going wild with my own writing ability, as well as finding out what my characters could do if they dig hard enough in their souls.
Why I write is a weird question. I talk so much garbage in my daily life. When I write, it's all calculated (mostly) and it's more influential. I'd much rather be remembered for my books than my speech. In life, I think there are Talkers and there are Writers. I'm a Writer, in every sense. My written word is much better than my spoken. I write because I can't express in spoken words what goes on in my head. I flounder and wave my arms helplessly; I write because I want people to look past all that rubbish and see what I can actually do given time and thought with words. I want to be heard when I'm not very often.
I write to vent. Several days ago, when I had been having a rough time and been putting pressure on a friend, I wrote a two-page story-like thing where I wrote, in character form, how I felt and sent it to my friend because it was the only way I could explain myself. It was my explanation and apology.
I write to explore. I'm not a traveler at heart, yet desperately hope I grow into one. But I read vastly and research even more. I write out worlds that I'll never visit and people types I'll never meet but would love to. I've never really kept friends, never had that particular skill, but I write to have my own brand of company, as goddamn sad as that sounds. Other writers, you may agree?
Most people laugh when I say "I'm writing my ninth manuscript" and tell me that one day, if I manage to polish them all up and publish, I'll be extremely rich. I've never been in it for the hopes of fortune. Fame, a little, but only for the factor of knowing my words and books have reached people and I can see that expression.
With each WIP I work on and exclaim excitedly to Dayna, I discover a little more about who I am as a writer. I once got told my writing style wasn't great, my dialogue was a little forced, and never really drew people in. Now, after building on that, my style is what gets complimented the most. When I had those initial comments, I was writing from force, really, so perhaps that reflected. I wasn't writing what truly sang to me. I was writing too much of what I knew, too close to me, and too personal. They weren't stories I could felt I could free my skill in. But now... Nine manuscripts on, and I'm realising what I want to be known for. I am realising that I am actually pretty decent, and I create good premises, and can work on them to make the premise sound good in context.
RACING BEATS, my current contemporary WIP, is something that combines a lot of things I love and I can put a little magical realism into it, which makes me incredibly happy. It's made me realise how honest my stories can be when I write from my heart, not just my mind. The fantasy WIP is based on my love of music and celebrating art, with hopefully good world-building, an element I know I need to improve vastly.
I usually have this theory that anything newer in my MANUSCRIPTS folder is better. But perhaps not. Even old ornaments once loved only need a dusting sometimes to shine brighter. *gloss over cheesy quote*
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